i don't remember an exact time, or even the year really, but at some point, i stopped holding hands. i remember holding hands with my dad, mom, grandparents, girlfriends, babysitters, even my brother -and then i remember not doing it anymore. i didn't naturally go for my parent's hand when crossing the street, i could walk without my grandpa's hand guiding me, and i didn't feel like my best friend and i had to be connected at the hip [hand]. but i watch my little kindies walk down the hallways at school, and they're all holding hands (ok, mostly the girls, but sometimes the boys, too. and you can bet that they'll leave school holding their mom's hand). so i started wondering...what happened? i don't think it was a conscious decision i made to stop holding my dad's hand in the parking lot. it just kind of happened. and from what i can tell, it just kind of happens to everyone. but why? why do we all of a sudden feel the need to show our independence? what's so great about independence? i have to say i prefer security. there's enough in the world to make us scared and insecure -why does a counteract like hand holding have to be taken from us in the midst of that?

when i was 11, i got my own room (another "sign of independence" i'm not sure is so great) and my grandpa gave me 2 pictures to hang on my empty new walls. one was a girl walking on the beach picking up seashells. this little girl is the only one in the picture, but it never bothered me because i knew her dad was the one taking the picture (yes, it was a painting, but that didn't matter in my head). this painting later inspired a bit of lyrics for a song i never finished..."little girl, walking through the sand...tightly holding on to her daddy's hand...the waves come crashing in, but she just skips and grins...daddy's there and there's not a care in the world..." the other picture my grandpa gave me was robert fulghum's "all i really need to know i learned in kindergarten." i remember laying in bed reading it over and over...especially the last line, "and it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together." i agree.

here in korea, people like to walk arm in arm. when lizzie and i first got here, we kind of laughed and joked about popping our space bubbles. but we've found it's actually really natural and just plain nice. touch is an amazing thing -and i think hands can be used for more than just swinging at our sides. of course we don't have to walk around holding hands all the time -but it's a simple gesture that says -i need you, and you need me. we are not alone. we are not self-sustained. no matter where you go, i'll be here. when you get lost, i'll be there, too. when you get scared, i'll be there. it's just plain nice. and i think we could use more of that. don't worry, i'm not going to hold your hand everywhere i go from now on. but every now and then i might put my arm through yours and stay there for awhile. it just eases something inside and reminds me everything's ok. i surely won't mind if you do the same.