a little while ago i decided i needed to bake something (sometimes i feel the need to "make" something...to use my hands rather than my head), so i asked elizabeth what i should make. i knew what she was going to say -and i was right -peanut butter cookies. more specifically, peanut butter cookies minis the eggs. so i mixed up the dough in a plastic bowl with a metal fork, plopped little balls onto the small pan, popped them in the toaster oven and turned the timer to 7 minutes. then i grabbed my book and sat down at my little kitchen table where i couldn't miss the aroma wafting from the oven. this worked great the first time -my nose told me the cookies were about done and sure enough, they were golden brown, then 2 seconds later the timer dinged. wallah! the second time, however, anne lamott apparently had not only my eyes wrapped up in her words, but my nose as well. i forgot to set the timer and by the time i thought about the cookies, there was smoke finding a way out from the rear of the oven. when i opened the oven door, it streamed out and fogged up my glasses so i couldn't see the very black blobs on the cookie sheet till several seconds later.

normally, i would be a bit put out by this. granted, i always burn cookies -it's a trademark of mine. but this didn't have to happen! 3 perfectly good cookies, gone to the drain (literally since cookies all but dissolve in water and it's much easier to dispose of them that way than put them in the special little green food waste bags we have to use here in seoul). anyway, i'd normally chide myself for being so careless and use my middle name for effect. however, my first thought was how funny the smoke had looked coming out from the oven and how i had to tell lizzie about it. so i did, and she laughed, and i did, too.

sometimes all you need is a friend. someone to be there -to be there no matter how important or trivial the occasion is, to listen no matter how life-changing or stupid the idea is, to hug you no matter how much it hurts or sparkles. a friend makes all the difference in the world. when lizzie and i are out adventuring around the city together, i never worry about getting lost or catching the wrong subway line -because as long as we're together, we'll be fine. in fact, as long as we're together, we'll have fun while we're at it.

i've always known that i need people -that people make or break my world. but i never knew how basic this need in my life is -without elizabeth, my world feels dark. (but elizabeth is always there, so i don't actually fully know what that feels like). with elizabeth, my world is light. of course, it's not quite that black and white. there are many people at home who make my world and without God and my family and friends, there would be no world to get dark or light. but at this moment, during this time in korea, elizabeth is literally the one keeping me together. it's crazy to think that one person can completely make or break me. my (almost) 6 months here have been amazing because of her...not because i love korea or i love my kids or i love kimchi. (though i do actually love my kids).

it makes me realize that no matter what i end up doing in the coming years, it's going to be about the people i'm with. i had no idea this year would be all about a friendship rather than a country or a job. people are who we relate to -and what are experiences without people to share them with? my experiences here -whether it's burning cookies, getting trapped on the subway, walking to school in the morning, or visiting a van gogh exbibit -would mean nothing if elizabeth wasn't here to laugh, cry, smile, etc. with me during them. but because she's here, they are incredible. God gives us people to share our lives with and it's truly one of the most beautiful things i know.