"she will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. then she will say, "i will go back to my husband as at first, for then i was better off than now." (hosea 2:7)

"come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us; He has injured us but He will bind up our wounds." (hosea 6:1)

say you're a seventeen year old girl who falls in love with the perfect guy. he's kind, funny, good looking, and he loves you more than anything. you're soon engaged and the summer after you graduate high school, you marry him. he's wonderful -all you could have hoped for and more. however, after a few months of marital bliss, you catch him snoring while you're sharing your heart late at night...he no longer kisses you before leaving for work...and he doesn't open the car door for you anymore. at first, you figure it must be normal and you don't worry about it. you act as happy as ever. but as the months go by, you begin to wonder if he would even notice if you weren't there when he got home from work one day. you begin to wonder if he would even miss you if you left. after much arguing and debating with yourself, you act against your better judgment and pack your suitcase and run away. but you don't run that far -only to the next town where you have a sister with a spare bedroom. he doesn't come after you. after a week, you run a little further -to a town where an old friend has an empty couch. he still doesn't come. after a few more weeks, you go even further to a city where you get a hotel room and a temp. job at a restaurant. no sign of him. finally, you move on to the big city where you rent an apartment and get a job as a secretary. several months later, you're still looking for him to pull up in front of your apartment. you're still checking the mailbox for a letter with his handwriting. nothing. you give up. ok, you'll be the one to go back. you'll admit all your mistakes, make everything right again. but were things ever actually right? no matter, someone has to make the first move. you drive and drive until you come to the house where he is out sitting on the front porch. you get your suitcase and walk slowly up the walkway.

"i'm sorry ron. but i'm back now."

"oh, were you gone?"

do you walk in, up the stairs, and unpack your suitcase? do you stay because you love this man? do you stay because you have nowhere else to go? or do you turn around and get back in your car, not knowing where you'll go, but sure that anything is better than his apathy?


sometimes you need someone to care enough to get mad -to shout at you, say you made him worry -be anything but apathetic. passion, even if it's angry, is feeling. and feeling is sometimes as close to real as we get.