how are you supposed to hug a child you've hugged everyday for the past year for the last time? what are you supposed to say to a 5 year old girl who, when you say that you're leaving, says, "but teacha, i'm sad?" how are you supposed to look into the overflowing eyes of a child and say "i'll see you again," knowing you most likely won't? what do you do when your boss stays out of the teacher's room all day because she starts bawling every time she sees you? what do you say to a child who says, "but why teacha? don't you love us?" how do you eat with friends with whom you've shared most every meal over the last year for the last time? how do you hold a friend whose arms have been the things holding you together, and know it will be a very long time before you hold them again? how do you watch your kids smile and wave to another teacher? how do you let go of a child who won't let go of you? how do you smile and say everything will be ok with tears streaming down your face?

how do you say goodbye?
how do you hug for the last time?
what do you say when you know you probably won't meet again in this life?
how do you deal with being replaced?
how do you live without people who have been your life?

i have no idea and i don't want to know, because it feels incredibly wrong. but it's happening.